Within the past five weeks I have been made to realize that I am not quite as brilliant as I once thought. Indeed I may have more in common with a box of rocks instead of just heaviness, which I will refer to as heft. I like that. Okay, it's not true and even if it is I won't know for several months, in the meantime I should take a look around me.
Holy shit! There is all this stuff going on and instead of slinging it at you in the form of random links I feel that I should try just a little bit harder to make a real connection. Today, I want to talk about fairy tale weddings.
When I was a little girl I fantasized about having a fairy tale wedding, I have a feeling that most girls do, I assume it is because we inhabit a society that expects and instills these desires in young girls (I'm having some disgusting and deranged Stepford Wife epiphany right now). Ugh, we are trained. My real wedding wasn't exactly fairy tale, the groom stayed out the night before gambling and cruising strip clubs (he calls them shoe stores [disclaimer: he does not frequent them, my dad took him and I'm sure they only went to one]). I would have been pissed, but this is the man that I cannot get mad at (well he did win $1200 playing Black Jack and one of those ladies managed to get his raggedy old ball cap that I'd been trying to sneak into the trash can for months prior [we ran into her a few weeks later in Target and she said she didn't know where the hat was, but I know, she knew that nasty thing needed to hit a trash can fast and I thank her]). I am absolutely unable to be mad at him no matter how hard I try. Powerless. Currently his power is his Deliverance-style missing tooth. All he has to do is smile to cause me fits of laughter, uncontrollable fits, no matter how pissy/prissy I am being at the time. I know (hope) the dentist will get around to fixing his grill real soon (golly, it's been a couple of months now). So, the wedding itself wasn't the fairy tale but the life I've had since then has been pretty damn good and I wouldn't trade it for anything (well, we could have skipped the whole Afghanistan thing and the missing teeth drama and...)!
So, my thought is this, I am so lucky to have this, I have so much love in my life, what kind of monster would I be if I advocated to keep the opportunity to have something just as special from other people? Well, I'd be a big-fat-head-jackassholio! That's what I'd be and that's basically what kind of jackassholios we have running around trying to amend state constitutions to disallow civil unions, voting on stinky propositions to il-legalize same sex marriage, defending "marriage" through federal acts. It leads me to the conclusion, the only logical conclusion, really. The jackassholios aren't trying to deny the benefits of marriage to same sex couples because they are greedy and want to keep their love to themselves, they are doing it because they are scared that someone else might actually be blessed with the love that they have not found themselves (probably because they are so freaking worried about what everybody else is doing).
Oh, and I also hope that all little girls and boys who dream of fairy tale weddings have the opportunity to create memories that they will cherish no matter how far from their fantasy it may be.
I leave you with Zach Wahls as he describes his family during a public forum on House Joint Resolution 6 in the Iowa House of Representatives (House Joint Resolution 6 would end civil unions in Iowa).
6 comments:
I must remember to use "jackassholio" in a sentence sometime soon.
I never had fairytale wedding fantasties...actually I never wanted to get married. Until I met Mr. RK.
I think that I had stopped having the fantasies by the time I started school, and for sure, when my husband and I met neither of us was ever going to get married, ha!
Weddings? Ugh, no thanks. JOP for me all the way. Short and sweet and to the point. But I know lots of women who had share those fantasies with you. Nothing wrong with that--It simply is what it is.
But for the rest--yep, that is pretty much it. The fear that someone might find true love in the midst of *THE love that dare not speak it's name. Talk about rubbing rubbing salt in their wounds--well I suppose that would do it. What a small world they must live in, to claim ownership of the concept of a sacred union between souls.
Jackassholio, huh? that's a new one for me and I like it!
I didn't get the fantasy the first time around, but even the weather behaved beautifully the 2nd time. I would do it yearly if it wasn't so expensive... and ours was CHEAP compared to the average amount spent.
I am still not really sure why someone else's wedding or marriage should have any bearing on mine though. Love should be allowed, no matter what. And if it makes people happy, then why should I care? Too much unhappiness in this world.
Plus weddings make people spend money! A nice boost to our sagging economy.
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