Wednesday, December 23, 2009
It started as soon as he left the bus. Tim and I could hear the bus driver yelling at a student on the bus. From what we could make out she was telling the student not to say certain things in front of elementary school children. Our son's school is one of those K-12 numbers common in rural America...so the bus is reflective of the student population...18-year-olds sharing transportation with 5-year-olds (certainly not ideal to us parents of younger children).
So, as soon as the kid enters the garage, the grilling begins. In an ultimate Freudian maneuver, he explains that "Assley" wrote "ask me about my wiener" on the window. For clarification, he quickly amended the young lady's name to "Ashley." Sly Tim asks Kyle if there would be a reason for that type of action. The kid feigns total ignorance (I'm so sure). Around and about, and around once more, until mom (that's me) asks, "does Ashley have a wiener?"
Fast forward to our wonderful living room where we are subjected to a "Build-a-Bear" commercial. Teasing Tim tells the kid that Santa is bringing him a "Build-a-Bear." The response is the usual 8-year-old boy's fervent denial. I explain that he should have a teddy bear to sleep with (you know, since I'll be gone and he'll be lonely and all...okay, I admit it, this mom was looking to lay a little bit of a guilt trip in order to receive the usual reassurances that I'm #1 in this kid's life).
The response is, and I quote, "I already have a teddy bear but I sleep with a snake."
Poor kid looks bewildered as his father and I bust a gut on the couch. Tim's making black mamba comments while the kid further explains that it is a "giant stuffed anaconda." It's not getting any better. The teasing is never-ending and finally in a great 8-year-old comeback, the kid accuses me of sleeping with a large anaconda myself. Does it get any better?
Yes, it does!
Tim assures the little guy that I do not sleep with a large snake.